


Rohan Kishibe Goes To IKEA

by apathyqueen420



Category: SCP Foundation, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 09:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19003195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathyqueen420/pseuds/apathyqueen420
Summary: After his house burnt down, Rohan needed new furniture for his house. Coincidentally, a new Swedish Home store had opened in Morioh, and so began his home decor adventure. Everything seems normal enough, but where's the exit?





	Rohan Kishibe Goes To IKEA

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry

It had been a long few months. Between tracking down Kira Yoshikage, a serial killer who resided in his hometown of Morioh, and having his house burnt down in a heated Chinchiorin game, the great Rohan Kishibe was downright exhausted. Being scrapped for time between searching for Kira and the deadlines of his hit manga Pink Dark Boy, he hadn’t had enough time to restore his house to a livable state and had been living out of an upscale Morioh hotel for the last few months. However, with Kira dead and Pink Dark Boy on a seasonal hiatus, Rohan decided it was high time he fixed his housing situation. He had already hired a skilled team of carpenters to fix the house itself, which left one last thing to be purchased--furniture.

  
Generally, Rohan would only buy furniture from upscale shops, having put a few hundred thousand yen into his previous living quarters being an exact replica of that from the movie Pretty Woman. Yet, this time, he felt the call to visit a quaint new Swedish furniture store which had opened in Morioh, IKEA. What could he say other than he was enamoured by the elegant yet affordable modern designs they had to offer. If anything, he could only benefit from living more like the common man every now and then.

  
The first thing Rohan noticed upon pulling his red sedan into the IKEA was how empty the parking lot was, there were only five or six cars in the lot other than his own. Usually when a new shop opened in Morioh, it was mobbed by locals eager to discover what the establishment had to offer. However, Rohan chalked this up to the fact that it was a Tuesday afternoon and most people were either at work or school. In fact, this may had been the gods smiling upon him, as it meant a celebrity like himself could finally shop for Swedish home goods without being mobbed by fans.

  
As he walked in, Rohan mentally went down the list of items he needed to get. A dresser, a coffee table and a bookshelf were what he had decided on (he couldn’t furnish his whole house with low-quality items--he was the great Rohan Kishibe, after all). He winced at the eye-sore which was the combination of yellow and blue that seemed to adorn every surface of the building’s exterior, but begrudgingly entered the building. For some reason, he felt some sort of strange energy as he walked through the automatic doors--one similar to that of an enemy stand user nearby--but dismissed it as paranoia after the hectic year he had.

  
Most places in Morioh had a friendly shopkeep near the door to greet any entering patrons, but not IKEA. Rohan, while appalled by the lack of customer service, began his journey to find any suitable home goods. Interestingly, the IKEA was much more palatable on the inside than on the outside. The hideous blue-and-yellows were much more sparse, the primary colors being more neutral to bring out the full glory of the furniture.

  
As much as he hated to admit it, Rohan was impressed by just how luxurious the furniture seemed to be despite it’s prices. Of course, the quality couldn’t have been too fantastic, but if it was able to appeal to the eye of the great artist Rohan Kishibe, it had to have been designed by someone of great talent.

  
It was while he was admiring some faux-leather loveseats that he could have sworn he heard his voice.

  
“Rohan-Sensei!” A shrill, boyish voice called out. He instinctively turned his head towards the voice, and was met by the sight of three young men, who he recognized as Josuke Higashikata, Koichi Hirose, and Okuyasu Nijimura. While Rohan enjoyed the company of young Koichi, he had a distaste for his two delinquent friends, even despite what they had gone through together on the hunt for Yoshikage Kira.

  
“What are you boys doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school?” Rohan asked, purposely denying eye contact to Okuyasu and Josuke “Don’t tell me those two convinced you to skip class, Koichi-kun.”

  
Koichi scratched the back of his head and gave a guilty smile, before Josuke and Okuyasu butt into the conversation, entirely uninvited.

  
“No way! Koichi came on his own accord!” Okuyasu threw his arm protectively over Koichi’s shoulders, which seemed to startle the shorter boy. “Right, bro?”

  
“Y-Yeah! Of course!” Koichi began to sweat nervously, and Rohan looked at him skeptically, but quickly dropped any argument. He didn’t want to have to interact with the two delinquents any longer than he had to.

  
“Hurry back to school before I call them and let them know you’re skipping, Higashikata Josuke and Nijimura Okuyasu.” Rohan threatened, fully intending to keep his promise if need be. “I don’t need you two interrupting my private time any more than you already have.”

  
“Actually, Rohan-sensei, that’s part of the problem.” Josuke said. Despite his distaste for Josuke saying the name of the great Rohan Kishibe, he allowed him to continue. “I think we’re a little lost. We’ve been looking for an hour now, but we can’t find the exit.”

  
“Don’t insult me, you half-wit. The exit is right over here.” Rohan walked in confident strides to where he remembered the entrance to be, which he only assumed was the exit as well. He could tell the boys were following behind him by the sounds of their footsteps, however Rohan came to an abrupt halt. The wall where the entrance had once been was replaced by a display of bed frames labeled “MALM”. Rohan was shocked.

  
“Just what kind of a joke are you playing on me, huh?” Rohan turned towards the boys menacingly, expecting to see them laughing at him. However, their faces were struck with fear. They clearly had no idea where they were either.

  
“It’s just like Josuke said, Rohan-sensei!” Koichi began to pace back and forth. “We can’t find the exit! This has to be the work of an enemy stand user!”

  
Despite his fondness for the boy, Rohan found himself scoffing at Koichi. They hadn’t encountered a stand user in months. Other than the four of them, he could count all of the stand users still in Morioh on one hand.

 

“You’ve been spending too much time around these two, Koichi-kun. Let’s just find someone who works here, and they’ll show us the way out.”

  
“We already tried that! There’s nobody here but us!” Koichi began to sound more frantic. Clearly, this couldn’t be a practical joke, as the other two seemed just as panicked as Koichi. “We looked in the staff room, too. There’s nobody here. The whole building is deserted.”

  
“I-Impossible! There were at least five other cars in the parking lot. There has to be someone else here. Come on, Koichi-Kun. We’re going to find the manager, I’d like to give him a piece of the great Rohan Kishibe’s mind.” Rohan’s strides were much less confident than they were before. He would never admit it, but he was still a bit unnerved any time a new stand user was discovered. Something about having no idea what to expect always had a way of putting him on edge, and in this particular instance he felt somewhere between excitement and complete horror.

  
“Of course, Rohan-Sensei!” Koichi complied. He wanted to interject and tell Rohan that they’ve been trying to do that for the past hour, but Rohan was so much more capable than he was. As self-absorbed as he was, Koichi had complete faith in Rohan. He was surprisingly one of the most reliable people the boy knew, and a newfound confidence had bloomed from within him now that he was around Rohan.

  
Koichi definitely looked up to Rohan, much to the confusion of his friends, and Rohan was starkly aware of that. Both of them decided to push their fears aside for the other’s sake, and venture on into the perfectly regular, normal old IKEA.


End file.
